Broken Dreams
by I Think You're Beautiful
Summary: A little thing I did about the Wedding, and after. I really hope you enjoy! R&R for the wonderful Chryed.


"Just upstairs, to your left." The man told Christian. He didn't even acknowledge him with a nod, his mind was so full, yet so empty. He ran up the stairs two at a time, his heart hammering against his ribs so hard, it hurt. He turned to his left, and saw the white double doors. In that room, the love of his life, his soul mate, the only man he had ever loved was about to commit himself to another being; this thought crushed Christian more and more each time he thought it. He didn't have time to take a deep breath like they did in films and books. Each second he wasted was another second he couldn't spend with him. He reached to the door and flung it open; if this was any other situation, he would've laughed at how dramatic it looked. He was faced with a sea of curious faces looking round for the source of interruption. Some placed their fingers to their mouths to signal him to be quiet, others ushered him to come in quietly and sit down; he did neither.

He stood at the back of the room facing the horrific sight. Zainab met his gaze, and looked like she was about to be sick. Amira stood innocently at the side, a huge grin spread across her beautiful face as she watched Syed with dreamy eyes. Masood hadn't even noticed Christian enter, and watched the ceremony with a tear in his eye.

The imam started speaking, but Christian could hear nothing but Syed's quiet gasp as he turned around and instantly made eye contact with a broken Christian. His jaw dropped slightly and a look of fear was instantly etched on his face, he looked desperate, so desperate for Christian not to say anything. As if he ever would.

"Sy…" Christian whispered so quiet no one could hear, but loud enough for Syed to. The tears fell think and fast down his face. His eyes were already puffy from the days of crying prier to this occasion. Syed's attention was bought momentarily back to the ceremony and to a waiting, excited Amira. He took a deep breath, held back the tears with all his strength, and carried on, wearing the overly used fake smile Christian had seen too much. Christian always mentally commented on how unattractive it looked, it didn't suit his beautiful features at all.

Christian let out a quiet cry of pain. He couldn't do this anymore, he wanted it to end. He couldn't live his life without Syed, so what was the point in living now?

Syed's head whipped around just in time to see the look of pure, deep depression in those usual sea green eyes. They were now grey and lifeless. The spark was gone. The smile, the cheekiness... everything; everything was gone. Christian turned and walked out. He closed the door soundlessly behind him, closing the door on his life. The pain was too unbearable, and as he walked down the stairs he collapsed, letting out the most distressing howl of pain. He couldn't breathe, his heart felt like his heart had stopped, the tears wouldn't stop, and he had no control.

He sat there, for what felt like an eternity, clutching his chest where his heart had been ripped out and cried until his head was throbbing. He felt a hand at his shoulder, Jane had come to comfort him, or Lucy, but he shrugged it off; what he really needed right now was to be on his own. The grief and mourning he felt right now was the most excruciating pain he had ever been in. Why wouldn't it stop?

He heard various voices coming from the room in which the "happy couple" had just got married in. The thought of Syed being with another human being, let alone a woman made Christian feel physically sick. They had just promised to spend the rest of their lives together, 'til death do them part. How could Syed possibly do that to her? To himself? To Christian?

The hand was still there, but only a second had passed.

"Christian…"

A voice… one he should recognise? But he didn't. He didn't even know if he existed anymore. Time had just stopped around him, he wasn't there, no one was.

There was a person in front of him now, they were rubbing his arm soothingly trying to calm him down. He eventually lifted his head to look up at Jane; he really needed someone to look after him right now, but there was only one person who could do that. As his eyes looked up into the face, he choked on his own tears.

"Please stop crying, Christian _please_ stop! I'm here, I'm here."

His eyes swam, he must be hallucinating, it didn't even feel right, or real.

"Christian, it's me. _Me_. I'm here, oh Allah… please help him."

Allah… God… Allah?

"S-Syed?" Christian's eyes came back to life, actually looking at the person kneeling on the step below him. Syed threw himself forcefully in Christian's arms, nearly knocking them both back against the staircase.

"Christian, I'm so sorry, I love you… _you,_ I love _you_."

Christian buried his head into the young man's shoulder, crying harder than before.

"Please don't leave me…" he sobbed, his broken voice only a faint muffle. "Please! I can't live without you…" the rest of his sentence was cut off as he took in quick gasps of breath trying to control his breathing.

"Shh…" Syed was making Christian's suit wet, just as Christian had left a damp patch on his shoulder. "Please stop, _please_." The pain was too much, way too much for Syed to cope with. Christian's arms found their way around the boy's perfect waist, crushing their bodies together in their rightful place. He wouldn't let go of him, couldn't let go of him. They were holding on to each other so tightly it was painful, but it didn't matter.

"Don't let me go, whatever happens, please don't let go…" Syed whispered, his voice and body shaking with nerves. They helped each other stand up, finding strength in their shaky legs. Christian walked down a step, so that Syed was on the step above him and now a touch taller, he looked up into the chocolate brown eyes that were so sincere, so beautiful, so frightened and held him in his arms once more.

"What are you doing here?" he whispered into Syed's neck. Syed only held onto him, if possible, tighter; the damage he had caused Christian was beyond the point of repair.

"I can't do it… not to you. Anyone but you." They were talking so quietly, that no one else could hear them, only witness two men clinging desperately onto each other. They heard quick footsteps coming down the stairs, and partly broke away.

"Go… go now. They're coming." Lucy was looking at her uncle with incredibly sad eyes, she was frightened for them. "Uncle Christian, you have to go…"

"Luce…"

More people had made their way to the top of the stairs. There were gasps of confusion and excitement at the drama that had conveniently managed to unfold. That was always a guarantee at a Walford wedding. Zainab pushed through family members, old friends, and was wearing a look that sent a chill down Christian's spine. She was close enough now to whisper violently and not be heard by anyone but Syed, Christian and Lucy.

"Get off my _son_." She spat at him. Syed instantly stood in front of him, protecting him from the wrath of his mother.

"Mum, leave him alone. This is _my _fault, not his." Syed's voice was shaky, and he was grabbing Christian's hand extremely tightly behind his back.

"Don't you dare stick up for him. Get back inside that hall this instant Syed." Her voice was so cold it was barely recognisable.

"I can't…" he shook his head and his voice caught on his words. Christian rubbed a shaky thumb over Syed's hand.

Zainab glared at Christian, looking at him like he was the most discusting thing in the entire world. She turned around to look at the gawking people at the top of the stairs.

"We won't be a minute," she made her voice unbelievably friendly, how did she do that? Christian learnt where Syed got his acting skills from. "Just got a tiny situation, get back inside! Everything will be back to normal in a minute." They watched as people reluctantly wandered back into the hall and closed the doors. "Lucy, that means you too, sweetheart."

"She knows." Syed's voice was barely audible.

"What?" Zainab spoke through gritted teeth. Syed couldn't look at her, he couldn't even speak. "Syed, there is nothing _to_ know. Now you get back inside that room this minute, or I will make you." Syed started trembling again.

"Mum… _please_."

Zainab grabbed his arm forcefully and started to pull him up the stairs.

"Christian!" he called out, trying to fight back the strength of his mother. Christian reacted instantly, grabbing his waist and pulling him back, he held on to a petrified Syed.

"Stop it!" Lucy cried out, taking Zainab's hand as she reached for Syed again. "Please don't do this… can't you see he's already frightened enough?" Zainab stood there catching her breath, watching Christian sooth her son.

"Shh, it's okay Sy, I'm here. I love you." He whispered.

Zainab covered her mouth with her hand and burst into tears.

"What have you done to my poor baby? My innocent Syed, what have you done?" she wailed, her voice carrying through the large halls.

"Lucy, go." Christian told his scared niece. She shook her head. "Luce, I'll be fine. Please, just go back upstairs." She turned around and quickly ran upstairs in search of Jane.

"Christian, I want you out of my sight. Out of my son's life." She sneered. "You may've ruined your own life, but don't ruin Syed's as well."

Syed had had enough, enough of his own mother throwing continuous abuse at his lover. He grabbed Christian's hand and pulled him down the stairs.

"What are you _doing_ Syed? Don't let this man destroy you! You don't love him, you love AMIRA!"

"But I don't though! I love _him_, mum. Christian!" Syed stopped, his fierce breathing still pumping through his body, and watched as a tearful Amira stood waiting at the top of the stairs.

**

Christian breathed a sigh of relief as they entered his flat. He threw his keys onto the table, turned around and held his arms open to a totally broken Syed.

"It's okay, it's over now." He held onto him tightly. Syed hadn't spoken the entire way home. He hadn't really spoken much over the 7 hours of abuse from his family; he just stood there with his eyes closed praying for it to stop.

Christian felt devastated for him. Never in his life had he heard someone talk that way to another person. He could hardly bear the pain himself let alone Syed.

"I'm so sorry, Christian." Syed finally croaked, his face buried in the crook of Christian's neck. They were lying on their bed after Christian had forced Syed to eat some toast.

"What are you apologising for?" Christian could not quite believe he heard him correctly.

"I've treated you appallingly. I'm sorry."

"It's okay, I forgive you." He kissed his head and let it linger for longer than usual, they were both suddenly aware they hadn't kissed since the New Years Eve party. Syed felt peculiar, he wanted everything from now to be special, a new start. He wanted their 'first kiss' to be special, and their 'first time' to be amazing. He looked up into Christian's eyes, but before he had a chance to say anything there was a knock on the door.

"Can't we just pretend we're not in? I can't face anymore…" Syed stopped, the memory had stirred in his mind and caused a lump in his throat.

"Don't worry, Sy. It's Lucy, we have a special knock." Syed listened more carefully to the rhythm of the knocking. Christian kissed Syed's nose, again letting it linger, before getting up and heading to the door. He ran a hand through his hair as he let Lucy in. She stood at the door with two big bags.

"Hey, Christian." She smiled reassuringly at her uncle. Christian was the one who always looked after her when she was down; she was now determined to do the same. "I've bought some of Syed's stuff. Tamwar let me in to their house, he wants to see Syed but I told him he should leave it a while." She looked over at Syed lying on the bed and sighed. "Is he okay?" Syed instantly sat up when he heard his brother's name.

"Tambo? How is he? Is he alright? He wants to see me?" It all came rushing out of his mouth. Lucy had to hide a look of shock on her face at seeing Syed, his eyes were bloodshot and he could barely open them. Christian took the bags from her, kissed her on the cheek and whispered his appreciation for her actions, she nodded and smiled back. She walked over to the bed and sat on the edge.

"He's doing alright, looking after everything, but he told me he wanted to see you." She quickly carried on as his face fell at the thought of his little brother wanting to hurl abuse at him. Tamwar had stayed quiet throughout the whole day and not said a word to anyone. "He's not angry. Well, he's a little upset, but that's to be expected. He said something about being fed up of people talking about it, because you're his brother and he still loves you."

"He said that?" Syed was shocked. Lucy smiled at him.

"Yeah, he did. I told him that you were here, and that he could come and see you at some point… I hope you don't mind." She bit on her lip.

"No, no. Of course not…" Syed looked up at Christian who joined them on the bed.

"See, family counts for something, Sy." He cupped Syed's face in his hand and moved closer to him. Lucy watched them from the side; she now knew just how much Syed loved her uncle, so much so that he risked everything, his faith, friends, family just for him.

"I've got to go, dad's probably going mental not knowing where I am." She rolled her eyes.

"Okay. Thanks, babe."

"It's alright." She got up and Christian led her to the door.

"I'll call you later, yeah?"

"Okay."

"And Luce…"

"Don't worry, I won't say anything. My lips are sealed." She pretended to zip up her lips and throw away the key.

"Why are you being so…?"

"Nice?"

He chuckled.

"Yeah."

"Because you're always here for me, and what I did last time…" she shook her head, "I'm sorry. You love Syed, and he loves you and… bloody hell, pass me a bucket! When did I get so soppy? Ugh!" She laughed and walked out, shutting the door behind her.

Christian sighed and picked up the bags of Syed's clothes, he could smell his intoxicating scent. He turned around to look at the boy lying on his bed and walked over to him, climbed on next to him and returned to their comfortable position.

"How you feeling now?" he asked, stroking his hair. Christian knew it was a stupid question, but it had to be asked anyway. He instantly regretted it, Syed's eyes filled up as he was forced to remember what had happened today. "Oh Sy, I'm sorry!" Christian held onto him tight and listened to the muffled sobs escaping the boy's mouth. "I'm here now, you're going to be fine." Christian closed his eyes as his own tears ran down his face. What a day it had been.

Once Syed's tears began to subside, Christian held his face to look at him.

"I love you, _so_ much." He whispered. "I thought I'd lost you forever," he shook his head, "I couldn't bear that." Syed moved his hand up to Christian's face.

"It's you. It's always been you. I…" he couldn't think of anyway to put his feelings into words, so he tilted his head slightly to the side and gently pressed their lips together. The intensity surging through their bodies was electrifying; just from one simple kiss, everything Syed had done now made sense. They simultaneously tightened their grip on one another, too frightened to let go. It was like their first kiss all over again, soft and passionate, and soon their tongues shyly brushed each other, before granting full access to their waiting mouths.

**

"What's for breakfast?" Syed asked, his voice still void of enthusiasm.

"Whatever you want." Christian walked over to him and ran his hand through his hair.

"I'm not really that hungry, to be honest." He looked down, playing with his hands.

"Don't lie, you're stomach is saying otherwise." Christian placed a hand on Syed's grumbling stomach. Syed sighed and looked up into Christian's eyes.

"When do you think they will come back?"

"I don't know, Sy. Jane said Zainab hasn't spoken to anyone since…" he stopped, "well, yeah." He cupped Syed's face stroking his thumb over his cheek. "Give it a few days, yeah?"

"I thought Tambo might call…"

"Let's go for a walk." Christian decided it was time for a distraction.

"A walk? You really think I'm going to show my face after what I did?" Syed was clearly irritable.

"Well I don't know, do I? But you haven't left the house for almost a week now. It's getting ridiculous."

"What would you know about it?"

Christian folded his arms.

"I know enough to work out that you're not happy at the moment."

"Oh, well done." The sarcasm in Syed's voice was painful.

"I'm only trying to help, Sy…"

"Well don't." Syed glared at him. "Can you leave me alone for a bit, please."

"You can't kick me out of my home!"

"I want to be alone."

"Well go for a walk then. You can't tell me what to do."

"You're bloody pissing me off!" Syed ranted. "You don't know the first thing about my problems, so stop pretending you do. I did all this for you and you're throwing it back in my face!"

"What is your problem, eh? I think you need to grow up a bit." He pressed, advancing towards him. His chest was heaving and his eyes were dark. Syed wished he wasn't so sexy. "I'm trying to be here for you! I've hardly contacted anyone, under your orders, so stop saying I don't care about you because you damn well know I do!" His face was inches away from Syed's, his scent washing over him. Christian glared at him, not aware of what his presence was doing to Syed.

"Ugh!" Syed gave him a gentle push before crushing their lips greedily together. They kissed fiercly, as if trying to make their points. They pulled away knowing that they had now called quits with their argument. Syed slumped onto the Sofa and turned the TV on, he started to flick through the channels when Christian sat down next to him, a little closer than he had intended. It took 4 minutes until their plans for staying put crumbled. Somehow Christian ended up draped over Syed with his head in his lap, and Syed was rubbing his hand over Christian's chest.

Christian rolled over, and was suddenly aware his face was inches away from Syed's crotch. He smirked.

"Christian, grow up." He rolled his eyes.

"I didn't say anything!"

"You were thinking it."

"I wish I didn't want you so much right now." He mumbled in to Syed's stomach. Syed tensed; they hadn't had sex since it all came out.

"I'm sorry." His words came out harsher than he wanted them to.

Christian sighed and sat up.

"You know what, forget it." He got up and went into the kitchen.

"I didn't mean…" Syed followed him. "Look, I know I've been off the past week, but I think that's understandable." Christian turned round and leant against the work surface.

"I know." He ran a hand over his face. "I just thought it would be…"

"Easier?"

"Yeah."

"Give it time," Syed stood in front of him, "we'll be fine in a few weeks." Christian's arms made their way around Syed's waist.

"I love you."

"I know." He kissed him softly. "And I love you. A lot." Their kisses gradually got greedier.

"How about we-"

"Take me to bed." Syed murmured.

"Sy…"

"Please." He looked up at him to show him that he was ready.

"You sure?"

"Positive." He kissed him one last time before taking his hand and tugging him gently in the direction of the bed.

***

The water ran thick and fast down their bodies as they held onto each other, skin brushing and lips caressing skin. No words were needed as they washed one another. Christian's hand made its way down Syed's chest, causing him to shudder from the touch. He began stroking Syed again in the way which drove him over the edge. So slow and passionate. As it became too much for Syed, and he was overcome with pleasure just before his relief, Christian held him closer. Their love for one another was too powerful to put into words. Syed shuddered letting out a gentle moan, and Christian muffled the sound by delving deep into that mouth, searching with his tongue for the words they both couldn't find. Syed felt his legs weaken, and on cue Christian held on to him to stop him from falling. Christian brushed the wet hair out of Syed's face to see those pleasure filled eyes staring adoringly back at him. His eyes travelled down to the red, puffy lips that were waiting patiently to be kissed. He smiled and leant in to kiss those swollen lips. Life couldn't be more perfect than this.


End file.
